Jones on the Road

Overheard on the trip from Long Island to Ithaca for Miss Raquel's graduation:

(As Papa Jones swerves around some roadkill)
Papa Jones: Didn't that look like scrotum?
Mama Jones: You have an appointment with the eye doctor in two weeks. This is why.


Mama Jones: (to The College Man who has just said something incredibly stupid) You're fucking brilliant.
Papa Jones: The kid's an orangutang.
The College Man: That's Orangu-TAN.


The College Man: (talking about his hot new girlfriend) Mom, as far as I'm concerned, the girl's a virgin. To me.