Poetry Exchange: The Number One Stunna

Sent to me in response to yesterday's haikufest (the author wishes remain anonymous):

*DISCLAIMER*
The attached poem is not based on any real life experience on the author's part. When writing a poem for/about a female, it is generally a good idea for the piece to be complementary in nature. The alternative could spell disaster for those in any proximity to the subject. Also, when writing single rhyme scheme poems, one is limited to a certain number of words. Therefore, the writer must pick a theme that works and run with it. This poem is a cautionary tale. Enjoy.

Let me tell you about this stunner named Stacey Brook
Sure she’s easy on the eyes, but her wardrobe is what gets the second look
Say you meet her, you chat, dance, girl has you on the hook
Maybe you get friendly and even score a little “nookie-nook”
Bored, she changes roles and becomes the cook
You’re the salt shaker, and dude you just got shook
You might feel bitter or feel as if advantage was took
The girl ran off with your heart like a common two-bit crook
Moving on is tough, I haven’t found the answer in a book
Until I do, I’m the king, checkmated, by Stacey’s rooks

Major points for kissing ass and giving me way more credit than I deserve. Minus a few for a wordy second line, earned back in bonus points for "nookie-nook" and the salt shaker metaphor.

Try and top it kids. I welcome all contributions.