The College Man: Still Alive?

Devoted Collections are Dangerous Readers may have noticed the absence of College Man posts after December break. This is because The College Man, after being magnetically repelled from his Long Island abode by a force later identified as Naggus Extremus, retreated to his Maryland sanctuary where he has reportedly split his time building gravity bongs out of soda bottles and conducting a quality survey of U of M chicks' racks. The man is busy and I assume he’s got no time for my trifling chit chat, so I usually leave him alone.

But this afternoon around 1:10pm, acting on spontaneous maternal instinct and my building curiosity as to what the fuck he’s been up to the past two months, I decided to give Adam a buzz. He was, of course, sleeping.

ADAM: “UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH.”
MISS S: “Hello?”
ADAM: “UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHH.”
MISS S: “Guess you don’t have class today, huh?”
ADAM: (croaks) “No…………………I do.”
MISS S: “What time?”
ADAM: (pause) “Twenty minutes.”
MISS S: “It’s a good thing I called then, right?”
ADAM: (silence)
MISS S: “Right?”
ADAM: (silence)
MISS S: “Are you hung over or just tired?”
ADAM: “Tired.”
MISS S: “Do you want me to let you go so you can get up?”
ADAM: “UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH”
MISS S: “Alright buddy. Talk to you soon.”

The College Man lives up to his name. Kid’s doing just fine.