Mom, Pops and Rachel are in the city moving Rachel into the Cornell Medical School dorms for her upcoming Urban Semster. Miss Stacia has joined them for the day and the foursome is walking off a monster dinner on the UES when mom launches into an unsolicited attempt to play matchmaker for Miss Stacia:
MAMA JONES: You know who wants to reconnect with you Stace? You’ll never guess.
(Expectant pause that is met only with Miss Stacia’s icy glare.)
MAMA JONES: (devilishly) Jordan Drago
MISS STACIA: Ugh, for real, Jordan Drago? God no. Mom, the last memories I have of Jordan Drago are of him bludgeoning a frog to death with a hammer in his garage.
PAPA JONES: It was a bat, actually.
RACHEL: Yup, a bat.
MAMA: Do you remember how he did it? (Throws imaginary frog in the air with her left hand and swings both arms, choked on an invisible bat, at the croaking wiffle ball.)
STACIA: Ugh. He was a maniac.
RACHEL: You know one of the first signs of psychopathic behavior at a young age is the mutilation of small animals.
STACIA: (turns to mom) Did you give this kid my number?
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1 comment:
i would like to be a member of your family.
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